You would think with me being super type A that I would have called that day to make the specialist appointment. After all, that was the next step to turning our dreams into a reality. I couldn't...I just couldn't. Every time I picked up the phone determined to call, I would start shaking and would break out in a sweat. It was absurd! I knew we needed to see the specialist, and yet, I also knew that once I made that call, there was no going back. I knew we would be officially labeled as "infertile" Even though I had declared us that in my mind months before, somehow knowing that others would know made me sick. Eventually I was able to make the call...4 weeks later...
The specialist's office was able to get me in in less than a week, which was amazing considering I had set up three different appointments with three different other specialists in the past few months and it took weeks/months to get into them (of course I never went to any of them...I would always call and cancel because I just couldn't face the infertility diagnosis yet). I remember driving to the appointment with my husband and half smiling/half crying but mostly shaking from nerves. It turned out to be a great appointment. He listened to everything I said, including the part about me thinking I had endometriosis, and he scheduled me for surgery for the following Wednesday---only 5 days away! *Side note...so thankful I work with such amazingly, compassionate people. It doesn't take away any of the emotions of IF (infertility), but it really helps knowing that my job isn't on the line because I have to miss for surgeries and doctor's appointments. I have read too many horror stories of women who have to deal with that mess on top of IF, and my heart breaks for them. I am SO blessed to work where I do :)
I had a laparoscopy the following Wednesday, and surprise (not really)...I had moderate endometriosis. The doctor said it was possible that I could get pregnant on my own now after the surgery (the lasered it all off) so we just needed to give it a 3-5 months and see what happened. He told us that if we weren't pregnant by the end of that timeframe, we would need to seriously discuss IVF. That was in January of 2012. By May, we still weren't pregnant. We went in and declared ourselves ready for IVF. We were so terrified and so excited all at the same time!
First things first...financing. We were able to get a home equity loan together very quickly. In fact, the lady working with us at the bank said she had never seen one done so fast! We are quite efficient...you don't mess around with us when it comes to kids! ;) From start to finish it only took two weeks-record time! I remember getting the call telling us everything had gone through, and we were officially approved. I lost it! I started bawling. I remember thinking, 'This is it! This is the first step to the rest of our lives.'
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